Lieutenant Dan
Posts by Lieutenant Dan:
- I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.
- I moustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.
- I love pressing F5. It’s so refreshing.
- I heard a story about a broken pencil that I’d tell you but it’s pointless
- I hated my job as an origami teacher. Too much paperwork.
- I had a dream I was a muffler and I woke up exhausted.
- I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
- I am going bananas. Thats what i say to my bananas before i leave the house
- fi yuo cna raed tihs whit no porlbem, yuo aer smrat. Shaer ti whit yuor fienrds.
- Change is hard. Have you ever tried to bend a coin?
- Being honest may not get you a lot of FRIENDS but it’ll always get you the RIGHT ONES.
- A. Milk and quackers!
- Q: What do you call a doll on fire?
- A butcher goes on a first date and says ‘It was nice meating you’
- 2 Pacs of Eminems for 50 Cents? Man that’s Ludacris
- You know, everyone always tells me that I’m a bit better than you.
- What fits your schedule better……Exercising 1 hour a day or being fat 24 hours a day?
- What did the Super Nintendo say to the Sega Genesis?
- Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was asalted.
- Q: What did the blanket say to the bed?
Recent Jokes and Gift Images
- I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.
- I moustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.
- I love pressing F5. It’s so refreshing.
- I heard a story about a broken pencil that I’d tell you but it’s pointless
- I hated my job as an origami teacher. Too much paperwork.
- I had a dream I was a muffler and I woke up exhausted.
- I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
- I am going bananas. Thats what i say to my bananas before i leave the house
- fi yuo cna raed tihs whit no porlbem, yuo aer smrat. Shaer ti whit yuor fienrds.
- Change is hard. Have you ever tried to bend a coin?
- Being honest may not get you a lot of FRIENDS but it’ll always get you the RIGHT ONES.
- A. Milk and quackers!
- Q: What do you call a doll on fire?
- A butcher goes on a first date and says ‘It was nice meating you’
- 2 Pacs of Eminems for 50 Cents? Man that’s Ludacris
- You know, everyone always tells me that I’m a bit better than you.
- What fits your schedule better……Exercising 1 hour a day or being fat 24 hours a day?
- What did the Super Nintendo say to the Sega Genesis?
- Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was asalted.
- Q: What did the blanket say to the bed?
- Today I gave my dead batteries away….Free of charge.
- Silence is golden, Duct tape is silver
- Q: Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed?
- Q: Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab?
- Q: Why was the student’s report card wet?
- Q: Why was the math book sad?
- Q: Why was the guy looking for fast food on his friend?
- Q: Why was the broom late?
- Q: Why should you take a pencil to bed?
- Q: Why is Basketball such a messy sport?
- Q: Why is a baseball team similar to a muffin?
- Q: Why is a 2016 calendar more popular than a 2015 calendar?
- Q: Why don’t you see giraffes in elementary school?
- Q: Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
- Q: Why does a hummingbird hum?
- Q: Why do watermelons have fancy weddings?
- Q: Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?
- Q: Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
- Q: Why do girls scouts sell cookies?
- Q: Why was the clock tower such a good storyteller?
- Q: Why did the bonsai tree get promoted?
- Q: Why did the robot water itself?
- Q: Why did the toaster become a sailor?
- Q: Why did the squirrel buy a motorcycle?
- Q: Why did the pancakes hide from the cat?
- Q: Why did the rabbit open a bakery?
- Q: Why don’t turtles rush through the forest?
- Q: Why did the tomato go to the family reunion?
- Q: What kind of cheese can fly?
- Q: Why did the bicycle refuse to argue?