Q: Why do fish live in salt water?

A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?

A: A bulldozer!

Q: What did the leopard say after eating his owner?

A: Man, that hit the “spot.”

Q. What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?

A: Milk and quackers.

Q: What kind of button won’t unbutton?

A: A bellybutton!

Q: What kind of berry has a coloring book?

A: A crayon-berry

Q: What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup?

A: Firecrackers!

Q. Did you hear about the party a little boy had for his sisters barbie dolls?

A. It was a Barbie-Q.

Pencil sharpeners have a tough life…. they live off tips.

My eyelids are so sexy, I can’t keep my eyes off them.

I’ve just opened a new restaurant called Karma. There’s no menu, we just give you what you deserve.

It’s been scientifically proven that too many birthdays can kill you!

I’m so bright my mother calls me son.

I’m going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding.

If you think of a better fish pun. Let minnow.

If you are running next to me on the treadmill, the answer is YES, we are racing.

If money dosnt grow on trees why do banks have branches?

I wonder if earth makes fun of other planets for having no life.

I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.

I moustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.