Recent Jokes and Gift Images

• Q: What did the candle say to the other candle?
• Q: What did the blanket say to the bed?
• Q: What did the alien say to the garden?
• Q: What did one plate say to the other?
• Q: What did one eyeball say to the other eyeball?
• Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
• Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato?
• Q: What concert costs 45 cents?
• Q: What can you serve but never eat?
• Q: What can go up a chimney down, but can’t go down a chimney up?
• Q: What bow can’t be tied?
• Q: Name a city where no one goes?
• Q: I can run but not walk, have a mouth but can’t talk, and a bed, but I do not sleep. What am I?
• Q: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
• Q: How many books can you put in an empty backpack?
• Q: How do you repair a broken tomato?
• Q: How do you make holy water?
• Q: How do you make an Octupus laugh?
• Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
• Q: How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
• Q: How do you find a Princess?
• Q: How do you drown a Hipster?
• Q: How do you communicate with a fish?
• Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
• Q: How do baseball players stay cool?
• Q: How did the farmer mend his pants?
• Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter?
• Q: Did you hear they’re changing the flooring in daycare centers?
• Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof?
• Q: How do you drown a Hipster?
• Q: “What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?”
• Q: “How do you shoot a killer bee?”
• Q: Why is England the wettest country?
• Q: Why do fish live in salt water?
• Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
• Q: What did the leopard say after eating his owner?
• Q. What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
• Q: What kind of button won’t unbutton?
• Q: What kind of berry has a coloring book?
• Q: What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup?
• Q. Did you hear about the party a little boy had for his sisters barbie dolls?
• Pencil sharpeners have a tough life…. they live off tips.
• My eyelids are so sexy, I can’t keep my eyes off them.
• I’ve just opened a new restaurant called Karma. There’s no menu, we just give you what you deserve.
• It’s been scientifically proven that too many birthdays can kill you!
• I’m so bright my mother calls me son.
• I’m going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding.
• If you think of a better fish pun. Let minnow.
• If you are running next to me on the treadmill, the answer is YES, we are racing.
• If money dosnt grow on trees why do banks have branches?