Recent Jokes and Gift Images

• Q. Did you hear about the party a little boy had for his sisters barbie dolls?
• Pencil sharpeners have a tough life…. they live off tips.
• My eyelids are so sexy, I can’t keep my eyes off them.
• I’ve just opened a new restaurant called Karma. There’s no menu, we just give you what you deserve.
• It’s been scientifically proven that too many birthdays can kill you!
• I’m so bright my mother calls me son.
• I’m going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding.
• If you think of a better fish pun. Let minnow.
• If you are running next to me on the treadmill, the answer is YES, we are racing.
• If money dosnt grow on trees why do banks have branches?
• I wonder if earth makes fun of other planets for having no life.
• I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.
• I moustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.
• I love pressing F5. It’s so refreshing.
• I heard a story about a broken pencil that I’d tell you but it’s pointless
• I hated my job as an origami teacher. Too much paperwork.
• I had a dream I was a muffler and I woke up exhausted.
• I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
• I am going bananas. Thats what i say to my bananas before i leave the house
• fi yuo cna raed tihs whit no porlbem, yuo aer smrat. Shaer ti whit yuor fienrds.
• Change is hard. Have you ever tried to bend a coin?
• Being honest may not get you a lot of FRIENDS but it’ll always get you the RIGHT ONES.
• A. Milk and quackers!
• A. It was a Barbie-Q.
• A butcher goes on a first date and says ‘It was nice meating you’
• 2 Pacs of Eminems for 50 Cents? Man that’s Ludacris
• Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
• Q: What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio?
• Q: What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon?
• Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?
• Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
• Q: What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa?
• Q: What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?
• Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours?
• Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
• Q: What do you call a sheep with no head and no legs?
• Q: What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
• Q: What do you call a pile of kittens
• Q: What do you call a house that likes food?
• Q: What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
• Q: What do you call a funny mountain?
• Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
• Q: What do you call a book that’s about the brain?
• Q: What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
• Q: What do you call a bear with no socks on?
• Q: What do you call a baby monkey?
• Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?
• Q: What do lawyers wear to court?
• Q: What do cats eat for breakfast?
• Q: What do bulls do when they go shopping?