Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?

A: They take the psycho path.

Q: How do baseball players stay cool?

A: They sit next to their fans.

Q: How did the farmer mend his pants?

A: With cabbage patches!

Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter?

A: I better not tell you, it might spread.

Q: Did you hear they’re changing the flooring in daycare centers?

A: They’re calling it infant-tile!

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof?

A: Never mind, it’s over your head!

Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?

A: They take the psycho path.

Q: “What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?”

A: “You can’t tuna fish.”

Q: “How do you shoot a killer bee?”

A: “With a bee bee gun.”

Q: Why is England the wettest country?

A: Because the queen has reigned there for years!

Q: Why do fish live in salt water?

A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?

A: A bulldozer!

Q: What did the leopard say after eating his owner?

A: Man, that hit the “spot.”

Q. What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?

Q. Did you hear about the party a little boy had for his sisters barbie dolls?

Pencil sharpeners have a tough life…. they live off tips.

My eyelids are so sexy, I can’t keep my eyes off them.

I’ve just opened a new restaurant called Karma. There’s no menu, we just give you what you deserve.

It’s been scientifically proven that too many birthdays can kill you!

I’m so bright my mother calls me son.