Lieutenant Dan
Posts by Lieutenant Dan:
- Q: What kind of berry has a coloring book?
- Q: What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup?
- Q. Did you hear about the party a little boy had for his sisters barbie dolls?
- Pencil sharpeners have a tough life…. they live off tips.
- My eyelids are so sexy, I can’t keep my eyes off them.
- I’ve just opened a new restaurant called Karma. There’s no menu, we just give you what you deserve.
- It’s been scientifically proven that too many birthdays can kill you!
- I’m so bright my mother calls me son.
- I’m going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding.
- If you think of a better fish pun. Let minnow.
- If you are running next to me on the treadmill, the answer is YES, we are racing.
- If money dosnt grow on trees why do banks have branches?
- I wonder if earth makes fun of other planets for having no life.
- I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.
- I moustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.
- I love pressing F5. It’s so refreshing.
- I heard a story about a broken pencil that I’d tell you but it’s pointless
- I hated my job as an origami teacher. Too much paperwork.
- I had a dream I was a muffler and I woke up exhausted.
- I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
Recent Jokes and Gift Images
- Q: What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio?
- Q: What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon?
- Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?
- Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
- Q: What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa?
- Q: What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?
- Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours?
- Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
- Q: What do you call a sheep with no head and no legs?
- Q: What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
- Q: What do you call a pile of kittens
- Q: What do you call a house that likes food?
- Q: What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
- Q: What do you call a funny mountain?
- Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
- Q: What do you call a book that’s about the brain?
- Q: What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
- Q: What do you call a bear with no socks on?
- Q: What do you call a baby monkey?
- Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?
- Q: What do lawyers wear to court?
- Q: What do cats eat for breakfast?
- Q: What do bulls do when they go shopping?
- Q: What did Winnie The Pooh say to his agent?
- Q: What did the triangle say to the circle?
- Q: What did the traffic light say to the car?
- Q: What did the tie say to the hat?
- Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
- Q: What did the penny say to the other penny?
- Q: What did the painter say to the wall?
- Q: What did the pencile say to the other pencil?
- Q: What did the nose say to the finger?
- Q: What did the man say to the wall?
- Q: What did the M&M go to college?
- Q: What did the little mountain say to the big mountain?
- Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?
- Q: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
- Q: What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
- Q: What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
- Q: What did the hamburger name his daughter?
- Q: What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
- Q: What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
- Q: What did the candle say to the other candle?
- Q: What did the blanket say to the bed?
- Q: What did the alien say to the garden?
- Q: What did one plate say to the other?
- Q: What did one eyeball say to the other eyeball?
- Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
- Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato?
- Q: What concert costs 45 cents?